Do You Do Dudeoir?
Originally posted: February 7, 2020
Updated: March 22, 2023
*Scroll down for updates*
You’re a dude looking for a Dudeoir aka Male boudoir photographer, hey? A tremendous kudos to you for being brave enough to give it a go! You overcame the hurdle of deciding if you wanted to do it or not and came out on the side of ‘Yes, I want to do it’! And why shouldn’t you? You’re a sexy guy, right? Why not?
The photo in my title is absolutely NOT my photo. It belongs to a photographer in Duncan, BC named Masika May. I found this photo in a Bored Panda article (yeah I enjoy Bored Panda articles in my downtime; you can check out that article here).
There aren’t very many male boudoir aka dudeoir photographers in Saskatoon. If you’re looking for a male boudoir photographer, then you certainly already know what that is.
But for the beautiful people reading who maybe don’t know what a male boudoir photographer is, let me explain. It’s quite simple.
It’s a boudoir photographer who also shoots males in the same fashion – tasteful, strong, and sexy. It’s very rare that you would ever find an exclusively male boudoir photographer. Since boudoir photography is very much geared towards women, it would be lunacy to be an exclusively male boudoir photographer. I just don’t think there is enough interest from you fellas to turn that in to a money maker! But go ahead and prove me wrong!
So you’re looking for a male boudoir/dudeoir session from a boudoir photographer. How do you find it?
Well you google, of course.
Now I have done this search myself, using all sorts of keyphrases and it’s damn near impossible. If you search ‘Dudeoir’, you might find some article about some fellow in New York who decided to do a funny photoshoot posing in poses meant for women and calling it Dudeoir. If you search for ‘Male Boudoir Photography’, you’ll mostly find articles about boudoir photographers who are male and how to deal with the issue of comfort with the ladies. Or you’ll find listings of boudoir photographers who are male. But not a whole lot of listings for male boudoir/dudeoir that will get you on the road to booking a session.
So, you take a chance. You pick a photographer (hopefully one whose work you like) and you send them a message to meekly ask if they happen to do men in that style also.
Saskatoon doesn’t have many photographers who do male boudoir (like I already said) and that’s truly unfortunate. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that there actually isn’t that much interest in it to make it a big deal! There may be a need there, though, and some photographers have moved in to fulfill that need. I tip my imaginary fedora to them.
I imagine you’ve found this blog because you are the guy whose looking to have a dudeoir/male boudoir session, and you’re thinking ‘Roses & Scars Photography? That sounds badass, I bet she shoots men in boudoir!’
The most important reason, to date, I haven’t taken the leap in to dudeoir/male boudoir yet is…Safety.
All of my life, the only time I have ever seen a man stripping off his clothes (or in next to no clothes) were at the pool or in the privacy of my bedroom. And I’m not daft, I recognize that men are more often physically superior and if any man wanted to try something, they’d have the upper hand (I’d give them a damn good fight, though). Maybe that seems paranoid, but it’s there.
Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying any and every man would ‘try something’. No, I’m not saying that at all. But all it would take is one.
Let me tell you a story to explain why this paranoia exists for me.
I had a fella interested in having a dudeoir/male boudoir session done contact me through my Kijiji ad. When he ran it by me what he was looking for, I thought ‘Hey yeah, I’d love to try some dudeoir’ but I did express concern about safety. He agreed to allow me to bring someone of my choosing along or he could bring one of his friends along to the session for everyones comfort. I set up a meeting with him in a public place (Starbucks) so that I could meet him in person and decide if he and I would be a good photographer/client fit.
He ended up bailing out on that meeting and I thought he would be gone for good. A few weeks later he contacted me again to set up another meeting.
Sure. Let’s set another meeting. The only way to try to reduce the paranoia and discomfort I had with the idea would be to meet with him and get to know him in person. So yes, I set another meeting.
He continued to message me on Kijiji, asking questions which was perfectly acceptable. He was nervous and having his questions answered was helping. I would do that for any client! But he asked a question that made me so uncomfortable that I immediately cancelled our meeting and referred him elsewhere (to another photographer that I know who does dudeoir/male boudoir). That question made me very nervous to even consider dipping a toe in the pond of dudeoir again.
What did he ask?
“Will you take some of your clothes off during the session to help me feel more comfortable?”
No, absolutely not.
Like I said, I immediately cancelled the meeting and referred him elsehwere. My first minor experience with dudeoir had been an uncomfortable one.
Besides this experience and my own experiences with men as a woman, there are some other minor reasons why I haven’t tried it yet. Like lighting. Lighting men is different than women. I would like to be proficient in lighting women first. Another (potentially hilarious) reason is that I simply wouldn’t know what to do if my male client were to pop a woody during the session! I have absolutely no interest in seeing your dick, or photographing your dick, and I do not do full exposure nudes for anyone. Erections are all well and good in the bedroom, but I’m not so sure they’re good for photoshoots.
Now, I’m not saying I will never do a dudeoir session. I need to work through the paranoia and find a male client I’m completely comfortable with or find a way to make the environment safe and comfortable for myself and for my male client.
When I figure out how to do that, I’ll likely start with a model call. So if you still haven’t found a dudeoir photographer in Saskatoon, I’d recommend you keep an eye on my blog, Facebook page, and Instagram for the day I decide to dip my toe in that dudeoir pond again.
I wrote this blog initially in 2020. At that time, my answer to this question was ‘No’ strictly because I couldn’t think of a safe way to do it in person.
Honestly, I still haven’t.
But I have sort of dipped my toe in the dudeoir pond in a few ways since then. By using webcam photography and with some fellas I know through roller derby. The distance provided by webcam photography and the familiarity of knowing who was in front of my camera helped a great deal with my own comfort. I can’t say it helped theirs lol but it definitely helped mine.
The first was my webcam photography experience with Mr. A. You can read about that experience and see some of those images in my blog post: Webcam Boudoir with Mr. A
The two in-person experiences were with fellas I knew through roller derby. Check these out!
The first was in June 2021 when I put out a model call to travel with me to Regina to visit Castle Butte for some outdoor boudoir. Ms. A and Mr. C stepped up and offered to model for me, giving me an opportunity to create some great individual shots, some couples shots, and a few dudeoir shots.
We ended up with a few pretty wicked shots with his motorbike and some really funny ones where he mimicked the female poses.
The second was a fella from roller derby who sought me out to do a photoshoot that would feature his tattoos. This wasn’t precisely a ‘dudeoir’ shoot, I guess, but it did require him to take most of his clothes off in order to feature the tattoos.
Obviously, he wasn’t going to just jump in and strip all his clothes off immediately so we had to do some shots to ease him in to it. And what we produced was absolute FIRE!
Check it out!
So…yes, I can do dudeoir, to an extent, but I still am not sure how to do it safely with men I do not know personally.